What should I do if I am too afraid to ask a girl out?

Confidence is key. If there is a girl you like, don’t think about it and act on impulse when you ask her. Or whatever method you would be comfortable in.

Justin,
Welcome to the human race. This is going to be a long answer, but if you stay with me, and read it all, it will help.
If it makes you feel any better, most guys your age are like that. I was. My friends were. The 20% that aren’t, it’s because their parents have been stoking their ego like a bonfire for the last 16 years or their genetics are a gift from God, and they make talking to girls look easy. The fact that the women go for confidence doesn’t help.

The reality is – quite a few girls your age actually really like it when a guy is shy and asks them out anyway. (and I know this from talking to women friends who remember their teenage years). It shows courage, and that turns them on. Of course – this doesn’t help you if it took 10 rejections to find the one that likes it. You have to sift through alot of gravel to find the gold nuggets.

The key to your problem is understanding why you are shy, then understanding what most women are really thinking. When you realize that your worth as a person is as great as that of the quarterback with the big muscles and hot car that his parents bought, and when you realize that the girls going for that aren’t the ones you’d want to have a relationship with, then you can focus on the good ones.

First off – you are shy because you care too much what they think. You are gun-shy about rejection because it’s disappointing and it’s a blow to your ego. So – what is the solution?

Consider this: how many of the girls in your high school really trip your trigger, so to speak? I mean, never mind are they pretty, which ones have personalities, senses of humor, and are women that you’d really like to get to know? Now – consider how many total women YOU are NOT interested in. Never mind why. You’ll find that quite a few of the ones you would not be interested in, it’s not because they are unattractive. They just aren’t your thing, or their personalities don’t mesh with yours. They mesh with someone, but maybe not you.

So – out of 100 women your age, how many would you really, really like to try and date and have fun with? I’m guessing about 10 – and that’s pushing it. Now – knowing this fact, and knowing that you aren’t interested in the other 90%, but it’s nothing personal in most cases, then remember that for women – the shoe is on the other foot. IT’S THE SAME FOR THEM!

When you consider this – that there’s 10 out of 100 you like, and it’s nothing personal, and likewise, there’s 100 out there, 10 of which are going to like you, that makes your odds of matching up with that right one, 1 in 100. Does this ****? Of course. It’s not 1 in 100 for everyone, for some it might be 1 in 10, or 1 in 200. However, by learning the clues that mean you are on the right trail, you can blow through dozens that aren’t interested with nothing more than a few minutes of conversation.

The key is, keep in mind that just because you get rejected, doesn’t mean anything negative towards you. The statistics are what they are, and they are similar for us all. Even if they roll their eyes and make puking motions, keep in mind that those few are on the low end of the social spectrum, and you’d never want to actually date a woman like that if you’d known ahead of time before showing any interest. Even if they are hotties, trust me, karma comes around if they are lacking in character.

The bottom line is, you have to talk to and get to know women even if it’s just a little bit. When you become comfortable talking, then you can become comfortable asking them out. You’d never walk up to a beautiful woman in the grocery store and propose marriage. You’ve got to keep them relaxed so that they will let their guard down and get to know the real you.
So – keep in mind that most guys can’t just walk up to most women and ask them out successfully. It takes a reason to talk, a sense of comfort, and once you get a conversation going, you can let them know you enjoy their company and would like to meet again.
When you realize that they are just people too, that societal norms make them have to wait to get asked, and that the guy asking may or may not be their dreamboat, and they have to come up with a way to indicate disinterest without destroying the guy (most are somewhat compassionate this way), they really have it worse than us.

Quite a few attractive women sit at home on saturday nights because the guys that wanted to out with them figured they had no shot. In many cases, it’s true. However, in some cases, they would have jumped on the chance.

My suggestion to you is to be yourself at all times. Push through your discomfort and it will get easier. Smile at women, and if they smile back, start a conversation. Don’t make getting a date your primary goal. That will flow like water when you hit it off just right, and you’ll know that when it happens. Don’t make too much of it even if they are interested. Relax. There’s no rush at your age. Don’t measure your success by that of the 99th percentile stud muffins.

I’m out of space. Good luck. Trust that it will work out. You are in good company with about 3 billion other men who felt the same way at your age.